Walking the Line

No, not Johnny Cash. Oh well, OK, maybe at the end. What I’m really referring to is the inability of much of the adult population to walk in a straight line.

I don’t walk in a perfectly straight line of course. I’m not (quite) like that, however I do walk fast. Walking fast, whilst not actually doing that whole speed walker thing, is not a special gift. Lots of people do it and indeed I’m often overtaken by people who are, quite frankly, jogging. I digress. Whilst overtaking those people out for a stroll (or just with little legs) I’m often dodging from one side to the next at the last minute as people weave directly in front of me. It’s insane. It’s like some sort of invisible magnetism (like most other magnetisms I guess….) that when walking behind someone and initiating what I will refer to as “the overtaking maneuver”, they suddenly take a drunken lurch directly in your path.

It’s even worse when you’re jogging. I imagine my general huffing and puffing (and smell) would warn people of my impending arrival, but no, it’s like they are genuinely surprised by my ninja stealth-like approach. So much so that they feel compelled to defend themselves by obstructing me in any way possible. Maybe I should invest in a cow bell, as it’s now driving me nuts…

Where Are Your Manners?

We recently ran a small competition to win a Joost/The Venice Project invite. We’ve had quite a few entries, so thanks for those. However we’ve also had a lot of emails just asking for an invite. 27 to be precise.

That’s fine, no harm in asking. However only 2 of them said “please” and/or “thank you”. 25 emails just asking for an invite, with no reason WHY I should do as they ask. Why would I send those people an invite? We haven’t got any more spare at the moment, but if we did, what possible reason would we have to invite them? Some people offered something in return (a video blog idea as per the competition), and others asked politely. As they say, “manners cost nothing”.

Finally a big thank you to all who have entered our new Simpsons competition - please remember that this will sign you up for our weekly newsletter, and you must be subscribed to win. You will receive an email from feedBlitz [at] mail.feedblitz.com which might go to your junk/spam folder, so please look out for it.

Let’s Get Angry Together

So it turns out I’m not the only angry one (see I miss my tikka). Turns out there’s a self-proclaimed Mr Angry on the web who’s slowly becoming my hero. The more I read, the more I like him.

Mr Angry gets annoyed with most things as far as I can tell, and he likes to tell people about it. In a very funny way. Not many websites or blogs make me laugh out loud (newsbiscuit is the only other that springs to mind) but this one does.

A lot of the stuff isn’t anything new but he manages to capture the aggravation of everyday life in a new way. He may moan, you may think “well that’s life, he should get on with it” but as long as he’s having problems and getting angry, he’ll keep brightening my day.

Fat Jim sounds a lot of fun.

I Miss My Tikka

I’m angry today, I feel like I’ve lost a friend and just realised he’s never coming back.

It began with Asda. Now as supermarket’s go, I quite like Asda. Yes, it’s the shopping choice of the chavs and part of Wal-Mart but the reason I would get my backpack together and get on the train to go there was for the curry. Yes, there are a lot of curries and curry houses about that offer fine fare, but the Prawn Tikka Masala from Asda was my favourite of them all. Even though I was carrying lots of other stuff, I’d throw out the essentials to make way for three or four portions of that curry. I would freeze it and limit myself to one portion a week with a naan and poppadums. My eyes are misting over just thinking of it. Why? Because they stopped making it around a month ago.

At first I thought it was just because they closed those sections that have big pots and they give you a serving and instead had the chiller cabinets. But no, it’s gone forever. And not just in the one store - I challenge anyone to find it (if you do, let me know I’ll be there in a flash).

Still reeling from that news I made it through Christmas having inferior takeaways and allegedly superior ready meals. I found one I quite liked in Marks & Spencer but I’m going to have to boycott them. They’ve stopped making apples. Well, selling Braeburn apples to be precise. I used to like Golden Delicious but I changed to Red Delicious (the “glitzy American apple”) until I realise they were 50p each which is expensive for a piece of fruit. And then I found the joy of a Braeburn. They keep for weeks and never disappoint, until they’re not there anymore. Why? Who knows. Yes, I could go back to the Red Delicious, or even break the bank and go for a Pink Lady, but it seems I’ll have to settle on a Gala or a Cox until the Braeburn returns. Oh well.

Maybe I shouldn’t be so lazy and try a proper greengrocers or even Tesco’s, but my heart’s not in it. Anytime I start liking something they seem to stop making/selling them. I should write a letter or two. Maybe my purchases weren’t enough to justify the making/delivering/selling of them. So now I’m planning to buy as much as possible of things I like just in case they stop making them. These include:

• Strawberry Crisp cereal - I have room for 15 boxes in the cupboard and by gosh I’m going to use it.
• Advocaat - been around years and have a feeling they won’t stop making it, but I’m partial to a snowball now and then so might stock up.
• Corona/Brahma/Sol - just an excuse to get a quality beer in.
• Those nice trainers - next time I buy a pair of trainers I like I’m getting two pairs as they stop selling them when I want a new pair (admittedly ten years could have passed).

I’ve stopped being angry now and am a little depressed. Crossing my mind are loads of things they’ve stopped making now. Need to go and write a letter to see why they stopped making…..

« Previous Page