Conversations With The Girlfriend - Part III

Driving can be stressful at the best of times, but after travelling from London to Los Angeles via Manchester and Chicago and picking up a hire car at 10pm local time, I wasn’t looking forward to the long drive. After putting the suitcases in the trunk (hey, I was getting into American mode) and discovering the handbrake wasn’t on as my efforts moved the whole car and gave the one in front a nudge, I clambered in feeling slightly fearful but also He-Man like - I’m sure the handbrake is still on…

Anyway after driving through the sort of places Jack Bauer is normally having shoot outs in, we made it onto the motorway (back to English now I think). When you are travelling down the coast I feel an important factor is to be driving south. So I headed onto the 405 south. Cue 20 minutes later the girlfriend (TG) piping up.

TG: “We’re going north.”
The expert driver: “I think you’ll find we’re heading south.”
TG: “You tell by the direction of the moon can you?”
Me: “No, but I distinctly remember tuning onto a road which said ‘405 south’. The south bit was what lead me to it.”
(The exact tone of this next sentence doesn’t come across well written down). TG: “I think you’ll find I have the map and that exit we just passed is north of the airport.”
(As I push the map away that has been shoved in my face) Me: “Would you like me to turn around oh expert navigator?”
TG: “That would be lovely.”

So onto a side road we glided so I could look at the map.
Me: “Yes we are north of the airport TG. Long Beach airport. LAX is behind us you idiot. We’re going south, that’s to the north.”
TG: “Ah, you are so great and wise, perhaps we should continue with your excellent driving now. I’m sure you meant to drive up that curb in your perfectly formed three point turn.”
Me: “Yes I did, I’m an excellent driver.”
(Cue Rainman impressions) TG: “No I’m an excellent driver.”
Me: “No I’m an excellent driver.”
TG: “No I’m an excellent driver.”

Never fails to lighten the jetlagged mood at 11pm on a deserted side street somewhere near Los Angeles.